DISQUS

mmapua · 3 months ago

Besides, you have to keep in mind that at the time when you approach her, you’ve already made up your mind and decided that you want her. But, when you approach her she may not even have seen you yet, let alone thought about whether or not she wants you. So if you go direct and you are already at the point where you’ve decided, then basically you are way ahead of her in the game. Thus you force her to make all those decisions in a split second, which lowers your chances of a positive outcome. When you go for LIOs, indirect or the social type openers, like CJ mentioned, you give her the chance to also warm up to you. Thus, increasing your chances on her agreeing to play the same game that you want to play.

rowerlondon · 3 months ago

Calibration is the Word here.

CJ looks at the situation, Direct or Indirect.

1) Girl giving eye contact but she is together with a few other people (Indirect better so to avoid the social conditioning triggers / ASD mechanisms)

2) Girl walking down the street. CJ sees her and goes direct (neither CJ nor the girl fear the environment. Environment is safe, but nobody knows either of them, so no social constraints). Girl laughes, and depending the delivery by CJ, agrees to an instant date. Especially if the girl is in a positive/altered state (ie holiday), CJ gets a fclose same day or next day.

Rower

Red Tie · 3 months ago

Recently I've been going direct a lot in clubs and I'm starting to arrive at the same conclusion, its not an optimum move. Like last night for example my best sets were the ones were I went situational instead of going direct straight away. A quick question though. If your grinding with a girl on the dance floor and you have a hardON, do you let her feel it or you don't from fear of creeping her out. My natural wing advice is to let her feel it. What do you think?

mmapua · 3 months ago

I think that you should let the girl feel your boner.
this way you let her know that she turns you on, which is a major turn-on for her!
Girls love cock just as much as we love pussy, so it has the same effect on her as her telling you that she's getting wet would have on you.
To her this means that she's arousing you, which is a major compliment.

CaptainJack · 3 months ago

Wow, dude... You have a BOI that is really messing you up... Think about this:

You are on the dance floor with girl (tons of Agreement).
You are GRINDING on each other (tons, tons of SEXUAL agreement)

Now, ask yourself... "What is the purpose of grinding on the dance floor?" -- Isn't it a type of flirting/foreplay/simulated-sex?

A boner is a RESULT of foreplay. A boner is a DESIRED EFFECT!

Haaa! Do you see it?!

You are worried about creeping out a girl with your boner when she is TRYING to give you one!

You have an idea at the top of your Viewpoint pyramid that is limiting you. Find it and remove it.

CJ

Hammer · 3 months ago

I pretty much always go direct, I think it's just what I'm most congruent with. The thing is though, I don't go direct so that everyone can hear it. Bars are loud and I talk into her ear, her friends don't know what I'm saying to her. Usually I'll open direct first to her and then address the group afterward.

karma123 · 3 months ago

Hammer, what are the direct openers you open with?

Megatron · 3 months ago

This, to me, explains why direct works better in day game than night.

I've also found at night direct to work better if you "pre-open" socially first. Like "You guys looked friendly thought I'd say hi" then to target - "You are adorable, I had to meet you" I also have friend that opens the whole group (if it's all girls) direct - "You guys all look adorable I had to say hi" and then works his target more with kino than the others, seems to work well for him.

CaptainJack · 3 months ago

I consider the "you guys are adorable" to be more Social than direct. Adorable is more Appreciative than Sexual... When I talk about Direct I am talking more about Shark-style where you are saying something like, "I think... you are... absolutely... BEAUTIFUL and I want to get to know you."

"I noticed you from over there and had to come meet you" or "You are adorable, what's your name" is more like a Direct social.

CaptainJack · 3 months ago

> This, to me, explains why direct works better in day game than night.

Explaining things that were mysterious is one sign of a "better" basic organizing idea.

CJ

SikNasty · 3 months ago

I think going direct is best for lone wolves. I go direct then pull back and fluff logistics, then direct, then pull back and ramp attraction, then direct, then pull back and run qualification, then direct, then attraction and so on but never comfort or rapport, this can confuse the game dynamics. At every step clarifying the game dynamic very clearly and leading her.